Adam: Amber Benson is our guest tonight. Amber is from BtVS, UPN, 8 o'clock on Tuesday nights. Amber was in here not too long ago

Amber Benson: I can't get enough, can I?

Drew: 3 months ago? 4 months ago?

AB: Yeah, I think so. I got my license in the interim so ... that's good.

D: She came without her mother this time.

AB: (laughs) She trusts you guys. You guys passed the test.

A: Yeah, Amber was carted around by her mom 'cause she didn't have her license. You don't have an eating disorder now, do you?

AB: No (laughing)

A: Oh, you're heading for one...

D: No wait a minute. I remember vividly this line of questioning going down.

AB: We went through the whole thing!

D: I was sitting just behind her here and you (Adam) went completely down this path.

A: You know I've learned from doing this show that I don't think a lot of different thoughts. You know, certain things trigger certain thoughts. I hear your momma is driving you in a minivan, and how old are you?

AB: 25 (sheepishly)

A: 25? Momma's carting you around like a retarded kid in a minivan (Amber laughs), I think bulimia and I will think that if I talk to you tomorrow. I'm gonna bring it up.

AB: Dude, I'm sorry. I could not, I cannot, I can't ... people throwing up ... No. No.

A: Not for you?

AB: No ipecac (sp?) for me, thank you very much ... No Karen Carpenter [??]. I like my heart, it's good.

A: You look good.

AB: Thank you. I try.

A: No, but you're really trying harder now 'cause something's going on. Drew, do you know what I'm saying?

D: Well, hair's down. You wore black last time.

AB: Okay, can I be completely honest?

A: Yeah, go ahead. What's going on?

AB: I had some friends over, and my Mom, and Lauren who works for you guys said that there was gonna be a camera crew and they made me wear nice clothes (laughs out loud). I tried, I tried to wear my nice baggy clothes and my hair up, and they all made me dress nice.

A: That's what it is. You really, you really threw it together for the show. You rarely see this. Hey Lauren, tell everyone there's a camera crew coming in here so people can doll themselves up 'cause people are train wrecks on this show. (Amber laughs hysterically in the background.)

D: Look at this guy. Look at Adam.

A: Well, when you live on TV like I do, it's no big deal. But you know, you're only in here once a week. Anyway, alright. So what's going on with Buffy? What are you guys in season 4? 5?

AB: 6.

A: 6? Jesus.

***Spoilers below***

AB: I just spent some lovely lesbian time actually.

D: Lovely lesbian time?

AB: Yes, I was naked in bed ... well, I wasn't naked because I had modesty clothing on. But I was in bed with my lover on the show and we were...

A: Willow?

AB: Willow yes. (a squishing sound is heard in the background). Yes, there we go that lovely sound. [Amber doesn't sound amused...]

A: Is modesty clothing like pasties and a fig leaf or something?

AB: It's more like a bandau thing [??sp huh?? don't know this word] and like boxer shorts.

A: So that when you pull the covers down, it can appear that you're naked but if you stop at a certain point...

AB: Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. They're stuffed. [?? Huh??]

A: I always thought that was distracting like in those James Bond movies. He bangs the beejezus out of her all night and then the next morning, she holds the cover up as she climbs out of bed (Amber is laughing through all of this) like a matador.

AB: Yeah!

A: I'm always like "Honey ..."

AB: He's already seen it.

A: Yes!

AB: Been there done that.

A: He smelled it too. (Amber laughs) What's the deal with holding the sheet up? It's distracting to me is all.

AB. It was for you 'cause then with the voyeurs ... you know...

***That's the end of the spoilery section!

They start taking phone calls now. Just like to point out that Amber is very considerate and caring when talking to callers.

The third caller asks Amber about Buffy:

Male Caller: Love BtVS. You guys are just great actors.

AB: Oh thank you. (meekly)

C: Not to kiss your ass any bit more. Basically all of the women on that show are just out of the world hot.

AB: (laughs out loud) Well, we try. You know, they do put us through the works. We get makeup and hair and really expensive clothing so...

A: Yeah. She cleans up nice.

AB. We should look decent. I'm just kidding. (laughing)

Caller asks Amber if the cast hangs out off the set:

AB: Um, actually a lot of us do hang out. The guy that created the show is really into Shakespeare and so sometimes on the weekends we'll have like Shakespeare readings...

A: Ugh!

AB: Hey! Be quiet! Be quiet!

D: That actually sounds good to me.

A: Boring!

AB: But I got to play Lady Macbeth opposite James Marsters so it was very fun. I'm sure there a lot of girls who are very envious of that (laughing). But yeah, and Sarah's awesome. I really like her a lot. We get on and she's very bright. She's actually driven me home from work a couple of times before I got my license. She took pity on me.

D: They're lesbians.

A: No, she just plays one on TV.

AB: I wish I was. I wish I was a lesbian.

A: Oh. I wish I was gay.

D: You guys would make quite a couple.

A: We should hook up.

AB: I tell you, I get the most amazing letters. I have places to stay all over the United States and Europe (laughs, obviously flattered). If only I liked girls, my life would become just awesome.

Caller says he met Alyson and Alexis last Christmas.

Amber says: "Yeah, they're a couple actually."

Then Adam and Drew cut the poor guy off as he's telling the story, but at least Amber's nice enough to say "Thank you." Hope the guy heard her though...

Then Adam starts talking about "slosers" (spaz + loser) and Amber defends the caller: "Oh no! He was nice. He complimented me in a really nice way!" (She's such a sweetie)

Later, Adam asks Amber when she wants to be picked up on her honeymoon:

AB: From my honeymoon? I'm never getting married. Never, never, never.

A: Oh baby. Listen. You want to be a lesbian, right?

AB: No.

A: Oh really? I thought you were serious about that?

AB: No, no. I mean it would be great 'cause I get wonderful letters...

A: But it would be nice?

AB: It would be nice because I could get laid every night for the rest of my life! (laughs)

They start to discuss the "trend" of lesbians not having sex as frequently after six months.

AB: But you know what? It doesn't seem surprising because women are so maternal and it's really about the relationship and feeling secure in that relationship as opposed to the...

D: There's no penis.

AB: Yeah.

A: But wouldn't you say that a certain percentage of women might stop having sex in a heterosexual relationship if it was up to them?

D: Oh yes. Absolutely.

AB: Do you think it's like a conditioned thing, though? Like the way women are raised?

D: No. Because you can try to force a guy to do that, and he won't ... (etc. etc. blah blah)

This goes on, and then:

AB: I'm more of like a cyclical person. One minute it's like great and wonderful, and the next minute you're kind of yeeeeh, then back to great and wonderful. And I feel like a dog in heat or something, you know? The way you ... ok, I'm gonna shut up now.

A: Where are you tonight?

AB: Shut up. (laughing) Oh my head! I'm never dressing nicely again.

A: You want a pillow to hump?

AB: No. I have my bottle, thank you very much.

A: Oh wow. (Amber laughs) You never wanna get married? Really? You don't want to get married?

AB: No.

A: Jeez, we gotta hook up. Drew, wouldn't we make a great couple?

D: She wants to be a lesbian and never get married? It's your perfect woman. (Amber is giggling in the background.)

A: I could work on you. You know, get you into chicks. You can work on me, get me into guys.

D: He's handy around the house.

A: You'll have no more trouble with contractors.

AB: I'm handy around the house. I don't need a man for that.

A: I build houses.

AB: I built a fence.

A: Ok, listen. Are you gonna try to one up me with the building? (Amber laughs) Still, I'll be the only gay who can handle a tool. Believe you me. AB: Well, I doubt that seriously.

A: I would be king of all the gays. I would be the gay carpenter. I would be the only with skills. They would all go insane. King of the gays they would call me.

AB: I always go for the guys that are, you know, leaning in that direction.

D: Interesting, we'll talk about that later. (They never do though...)

The last caller is a guy who called the last time Amber was on the show:

Caller: Hi Amber.

AB: Oh, oh, oh! Oh my gosh, it's the guy with the stuffed animals! He called last time!

C: By the way, I'm not a plushy.

AB: I'm glad to hear that.

A: But he is a stalker.

C: No.

A: Oh that's right. We were trying to set you guys up on a date. But your mom wouldn't let you use the car or how does that go?

AB: Stop it! Leave my mom and my car alone. I gotta driver's license now so I'm not looking for a chauffeur.

And so on. Then:

A: Did you want to go out on a date with Amber?

C: No, not any more.

AB & A: Not any more?

C: I've given up on that dream.

AB: Awww. You wouldn't want me anyway. I'm all screwed up. These guys will tell you.

A: Yeah, she's a mess.

C: Are you still dating that guy?

AB: Um, not that one. Someone else.

A: Oh yeah? You're dating someone?

AB: Sort of. Yeah. (Amber obviously doesn't want to talk about this...)

C: Well, you're wasting all your time with all these other guys when you have me. How was Sundance?

AB: How was...? Oh my gosh. (flattered giggling) You keep abreast of what's going on with me, don't you? It was fun. It was interesting. I had a film up there, so I went for that and it was good.